imodium wont stop you talking crap

wherever you're standing say hello to the nearest person to you

if there is no one around then say hello to your inner child
or sense of impending failure.

this is not a haiku, but i am pro-haiku

when i am taking a bath
and submerge my head below the water
i feel like i'm being aborted.

objects are broken up, analyzed, and re-assembled in an abstracted form

a woman meets a man and says,
'oh, Dick. i didn't recognise ya!'

there are some people who never change
and others with a face like coastal sand.

Picasso had it right.
you can't rely on a nose being
in the place it should be.

i want to put my head up a woman's dress,
but with my eyes closed, because I'm not a pervert.

anyway, i think it looks like a nice place to sleep.

my ears on her warm thighs.
my teeth gently nibbling her labia.

adolescent boys and middle-aged men sometimes develop breasts

when we start going out we will be great together and never argue.
i will be a clothes-stand for your underwear. you will put your pants over my face.
i will wear your bra around my ass. then i will wear it like a mask.
i will be a home for your insecurities. i will let you eat cake with a teaspoon.
we will share more than our character flaws.

i will tell you that your flaws are the reason i like you.
then it will become clear that we are two different people.

with a different destiny. (if you believe that.)
at this point we will just be friends and try not to speak about love again.

one of the two standard special keys beyond digits 0 to 9

if i put three #'s in a row it makes two thick black lines
across the page in the word processing package i use.

i choose not to write about death very often.
i can say 'death' many times, but i will never
describe a death more than once.
if i can help it.

this is because, i have heard, (i believe)
that writers who write a specific type of death more than once
will die in that way that they have mentioned more than once.

i don't want to die. and once is enough.
i don't want to do a christ and come back for a replay.

if i was christ, i'd be a hit at parties.

i would smoke hash and perform palm readings

on girls 1,993 years younger than me.

i am already a hit at parties. (i believe)

YABBA DABBA DOO! would be an obvious title

when i think back to watching The Flintstones as a kid
i remember the animals the most.

the ones that were running all the gadgets they had.

like the mammoth “shower”. birds acting as "car horns,"
the "electric razor” made from a clam shell, vibrating from a honey-bee inside.

we use too much electric and too little eccentric.

it makes me miss the good old days.

humility shall escape them without more

this is a mild epiphany that will surprise no one.

if you climb a tree at exactly 2:51 in the afternoon
you will be able to see the moment you were conceived.
you will never want to climb trees again.
this is when you will realise you're an adult.

finally.

and in the distance, you'll see Anthony the Great.
there on the beach, no cave to hide in, stepping around
trays of silver coins.